Homework Blows

I apologize for the lack of posts lately. I know 1 or 2 of you really look forward to them ;) The kids started school again and as much as I love the structure of it all I HATE the homework. Jake, the oldest,...forget it, he's in 7th grade and he might as well be a foreign exchange student from somewhere I have no idea about.  I understand none of it - you're on your own kid - good luck! Kamryn, the youngest, is all over it as she's in 1st grade and really how hard can writing 5 words down, cutting and pasting and practicing spelling words that consist of "at" & "bat" be?

It's Zakary who makes me want to have Calgon take me more than away between the hours of 3:45 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. The words/terms "nope, not happening, I can't, I don't care, who cares, Fun Friday sucks anyways, I don't know, Dad's way better he doesn't make me do homework, you're a monster for making me do this" are frequent fliers. He hates sitting down to do it. It's not that he can't, he just outright refuses. He does not care if he loses his TV privilege/video games or his prized possessions like legos or action figures. He could careless if I ran over his dog if that meant he didn't have to do his homework. He usually ends up getting most of it done but it is a struggle that I will be happy to be rid of. I can't wait until he's in 7th grade and I can throw him into the lion's den because mama just doesn't understand it. 

As far as my weight loss efforts go...they might as well be based at a 7th grade level as well because I definitely don't understand what my problem is. I mean-I know what my problem is. I am not consistent, I'm reading about 5 different theories right now and applying absolutely none of them AND I haven't been to the gym in quite some time. Like I've mentioned before it's not like I sit around and eat burritos all day (well I did today-I needed some comfort and boy did that meaty bean delight do the trick). Anyhow, I don't do that very often but I don't eat 5-6 small meals a day like I should. I either starve myself or I eat one big meal and move on. Oh yes, and then there's sometimes the red liquid diet dinner. So yet again, I am going to try to get better about that - tomorrow. 

86 Big Mama's Advice:

If you plan on having kids make sure you are capable of retaining more than a 7th grade education so you can get a good job and pay for a full-time tutor.

Note to self:

Before you consider becoming a street walker to afford a tutor for your children hit the gym and stay consistent with your meal plans so that people will actually pay you-not vice versa. 

Cliché Per Se :: Part 2 of 2

"To reduce stress in your life, surround yourself w/ people who don't judge you"...the post from skinnygirl daily's fb page that inspired this 2 part post. Then I stumbled across another post from Intuitive Life Coach & Medium Rick Wood's (this guy is for real, I've witnessed it first hand) fb page: "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or lack of self-esteem first make sure that you are not in fact, just surrounded by assholes". Yes! I loved it! It don't think we purposely do this and sometimes we don't even know that we are in fact just surrounded by judgemental a-holes.


Again, I'm the first one to admit I am not exactly innocent in the casting judgement department. I had a great weekend with friends I rarely get to hang out with and one whom I've often criticized because I don't get to see her enough. This time I just soaked it all in and can't wait until we all get to hang again - I'm a work in progress. However when I learn of someone, especially someone who I consider to be a friend, directing their negative thoughts upon me it is a quick reminder that I do not want to be like those people and share in their ugliness. (I apologize in advance but we're going to get a little off track today. Big Mama needs to vent.)

For example, this weekend it was brought to my attention that at a party 1000 miles away (yes, 1000 miles away) a so-called friend of mine decided to discuss and commentate in a not so positive manner about my visit last September and referecing some of my wall posts on fb; declaring my children needed to be spanked and had "LOD". What the hell is LOD you might ask, I did. LOD stands for "lack of discipline" apparently.

Real quick - I'm not the naive mom who thinks her kids do no wrong and blames everything under the sun for their bad behavior. I know they need more discipline and it is something I work on every single day of my life.

The part that hurt most was me and my children were being judged at probably the most difficult time in our lives. We had all just gone through a divorce, were trying to get situated in our new house, for them also adjusting to life without their daddy on a daily basis and taking our first major trip without him. It was a BIG deal. Not making excuses for my daughter getting into some tampons and tossing them about the house but to have someone who knew nothing about what we were going through nor took the time to ask bring up my children's LOD; to say I have a huge problem with it is an understatement. The funny part to me is she was only around my children for a couple of hours...man alive her head would be spinning if she were around us for an entire day. Being the Super Mom that this particular person is I would have found it more appropriate (and honestly would have welcomed it) for her to offer me advice or at least note it in front of me so I could at that very moment feel humiliated and try to fix the LOD immediately. Unfortunately, as I've learned one persons downfall is another persons self-claimed success story.

With all of that said I'm putting this novel of a post to bed and also the feelings that resonated in me after hearing about this. The format of this criticism is not welcome and to take Bethenny's advice yet again I will take the necessary steps to reduce it from my life. 

86 Big Mama's Advice for the Day: Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones and MYOFB. (Mind your own f'ing business).

That's right, I said it :)

Today's Fix: Definitely going to the gym to work off some of this aggression and get it out of my system for good! It's been days and I'm still stewing! No bueno.

86 Big Brats

Let's just say yesterday wasn't the best day with my trio. They were fresh off a weekend with their dad which take a wild guess what that means? Good times all the time. Besides that though they are just simply naughty. I seriously almost had to call CPS on myself for their sake. At this point I don't even think Super Nanny could swoop in and fix this situation. 

Here's a little breakdown of what happened BEFORE we left the house:

• Black eye given to #2 from #1.
• Root Beer opened in between dining room table and sectional - explodes all over when opened.
• Some sort of screaming begins as soon as I get in the shower - a fight to the death began between #1 & #2  with plastic light sabers. 
• #3 screams at me because she can't find her swimsuit and slams door.
• #1 asks me to make him a sandwich and because I didn't make it right away he tells me "I have to do everything around here and you can't even make me a sandwich". 

Events that occurred AFTER we left the house to go in public (I should have known better):

• #2 pees in parking lot as soon as we get to destination.
• #2 proceeds to take off bathing suit in pool and skinny dip (we are at a public pool remember)
• #2 & #3 get into a rock throwing contest...while still in pool.
• #1 nails innocent woman swimming laps in the head with a water ball.
• #1 & #2 scale fence to get back into pool after we have already left the area and I am cooking dinner.
• #2 & #3 Cannonball the shit out of the hot tub - with people in it. 
• #3 headbutting my friend in the ass and telling her it's a "booty kiss". 

 {WANTED - ALIVE}

The above doesn't even touch on what went down inside at my friends place while we're trying to cook them a nice, fun dinner or the talking back and sassing me. Let's see...that went a little something like this:

• You treat us like dirt.
• You don't let us have any fun.
• Me: Kamryn come here. Her: No. Why? No. Nope.
• I want to go to dad's and never see you again. (See ya pal!)
• Dad is SO much more fun than you. 
• All you care about is yourself!

And then of course there was the endless supply of no's, why's, how come's oh yes, and how could I forget their selective hearing ability when I'm 10 feet away from them screaming my head off. Yes, I have to turn into a raging lunatic and pretty much make my head spin for them to pay attention to me at around 50%.

Truthfully not everyday is like this obviously or I would not be in a state of mind to even write one complete sentence. Yesterday was a bit extreme even for them but they messed with the wrong bitch one too many times. I am OVER it and they have a couple big surprises when they awake. People often ask me if I spank them or if I've tried spanking them...spanking for my kids is short-term pain for long-term overall gain. It's not worth it and I could go without feeling like Mommy Dearest. I'm going to kick them where it counts this morning i.e. see you later cable T.V.! Bye-bye Wii and Playstation 3. Adios livelihood and freedom! I'm actually sitting here with that "bah-hahaha" feeling because I am still so pissed at them. Wakey wakey little ones...Big Mama awaits you.

Yesterday's Scorecard:

Did relatively well during the day with my food choices but chowed down on my friends hummus & chips and salsa by the pool.

Exercise:

I actually forewent going to the gym because I was so excited to get my trio out of the house and off to have a little fun. Well that f'ing backfired like nobody's biz. If parenting were exercise mark me down for having completed a triathlon yesterday.