Meeting Bethenny :: My Obsession

Yesterday was fun, reliving and sharing my 10 second encounter with Bethenny. It was also motivating. As we were standing in line I could hear the conversations going on around me about why people loved her. To my surprise people referred to Real Housewives of NYC the most. I was asked the day before going to the bottle signing by a good friend "What's so great about her? Why the obsession?".  My reply was that she was a genius business woman. Boring, I know.  I could give a rats about Real Housewives of NYC. To be honest I've never even watched an episode (of NYC, I was all over Bev. Hills) and when I heard she was on it I was a little disappointed - until I learned why. The first time I saw Bethenny was on the Martha Stewart Apprentice show; they were in the boardroom and she was putting up a good fight. Being an entreprenuer myself her courage, her ability to speak elequently in a heated argument and most importantly her passion caught my attention immediately.

{Forget about me in this pic, BF is holding one of MY products}

::image from Skinnygirl Marg FB Page::

I lost interest however when I learned of her participation on RH of NYC; it didn't seem fitting, she was above it as far as I was concerned. She wasn't one of those little bitty's who didn't work, whose husband's were loaded and had 4 Nanny's for 2 kids. Soon I caught onto her geniusness though when she said "there's no reason to be on reality t.v. unless you have something to sell". She methodically used this opportunity to brand, develop and SELL the concept of her skinnygirl Margarita. Because she was/is so bold and easy to relate to unlike most of the women on the show, average housewives, sinlgetons, young adults in college and even some men all over North America went ape shit over her AND her products. Bing. Bang. Boom. Cover of Forbes Magazine at the age of 40.

I can only hope that her next book will be about business. Although some claim it was "easier" for her because she did have access to people most of us wouldn't  i.e. The Hiltion's and The Bruckheimer's, as well as the opportunity to be on television; this didn't and hasn't stopped her though from pounding the pavement, working her ass (literally) off, getting in front of businesses, companies and most importantly getting in front of her fans, making herself available to us. I told a girl in line that I came because this is the moment right before she becomes untouchable...she will indeed get far too busy and far too big to come to a little Walgreens in Scottsdale, Arizona to sign bottles.

Above is The Lady who has represented my company for the last 10 years (kind of false advertisement right now but I'm working on it!). I'm not completely out of my mind here. There's a reason why I was immediately drawn to Bethenny and her brand. Branding is everything. I can also get behind any woman who shows up to a party in their honor for landing the cover of Forbes and says "Holy shit balls".

So there you have it. That is the stem and base of my obsession with her. Although I was happy to have had that 10 seconds I would have much rather spent time picking her brain, getting ideas, asking her how she did this or that, telling her about my company and just being a sponge for any and all business related advice. Trust and believe I have no desire to hang out with the gen pop (not you Katina!) at a Walgreens 1.5 hours away from my house, literally be pushed through a line, asked if I am a threat and whisked by a celebrity to have my picture taken with them. HOWEVER, I did get a photo of Ms. Bethenny holding one of MY products. Rather than saying "I'm...86...Big...Mama..." like an obsessed fat girl fan I should have said "I am a designer and own so and so and specifically made this for you to sign, here's my business card". I am a total. dumb. ass.

Note to self:

Keep your eye on the prize. Don't be afraid to sell yourself; just don't do it on a corner.

86 Big Mama's Advice:

Don't wait for opportunity to knock - chase the hell out of it.

Meeting Bethenny :: My Experience

Bethenny Frankel paid Scottsdale a visit to introduce her new skinnygirl Sangria yesterday; she announced on Tuesday that she would be in town for a bottle signing at 2 locations for the first 150 people. As you can imagine as soon as I had confirmation I was in high gear to make plans to attend. Luckily after the rush of excitement I calmed down a bit (with the help of a 10 a.m. Mich Ultra) and decided it would NOT be a good idea to spend the night in a Walgreens parking lot with 3 kids - other well thought out arrangements were made and off I went first thing in the morning. That was the old, crazed fanatic Rikki. We'll touch on the "old" focused Rikki tomorrow.

(At yesterday's signing :: image via skinnygirl)

As some of you may know I follow Bethenny on twitter and a few times she has responded due to me either pimping out her products or just telling her I found something she posted inspirational. Yes, I translated that to mean she thinks I'm pretty bad ass and totally wants to meet me. For some reason, which I'm still trying to understand, crazed, fanatic Rikki thought because of this interaction on twitter if I invited her out to dinner upon her arrival she just might take me up on it. Why not right? It was worth a shot. To put it simply I pretty much twitter stalked her on Tuesday which leads me to believe that the 5 syllables "86 Big Mama" were a big CODE RED on Wednesday. In case you weren't aware I make a spectacle out of myself any chance I get - most of the time without even trying. 10-4. Roger that. This is how it went down in crazy town:

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Talk to the ladies in line in FRONT of us who not only ask Bethenny over for lunch but also tell her they just know she's going to be their bff however they might not have time for her. Those wishful thinkers were behind the lady in red (God bless her heart)...who actually made fizzy bath balls shaped like candy encased in a red, satin like See's Candy container and gave them to her. No lie. Let's just say these 3 made it through, having had more than 1 item each signed, without a glitch. Then...it's my turn: 

Sec. Guard # 1: You can only have her sign one thing.

Sec. Guard # 2:  Says nothing, just pushes me along.

Sec. Guard # 3: Grabs bottle, asks my name, pushes me next to Bethenny.

Bethenny: Hi Britney.

Me: It's Rikki. R-i-k..HI!

Bethenny signs bottle and I slip her the card I made for my friend and I to have signed.

Me: Do you mind signing this, please?

Sec. Guard # 3: No, she's only signing one thing.

Me: Looking at Bethenny Please?!

In unison:

Bethenny: Where'd you get this card? I said that? That's good. I want one.

Me: I'm...86...Big...Mama...(imagine I had just come from the dentist and my mouth is numb)

Photographer: Look over here and SMILE!

Sec. Guard #3: Um, should we be afraid of you mam? (totally straight faced & not kidding)

Me: Rolling my eyes and giving him my look Ugh, no!

Photographer: SMILE! 

Sec. Guard #4: Says nothing. Literally pulls me along and stands in front of me preventing me from fully seeing my friend's interaction with Bethenny. Who, just on a side note, handed her the card I made to have signed provoking Bethenny to say "Where did you guys get these?!". Friend points to me and says "she made them"; Number Four in the way blocking my one moment of recognition and genuine eye contact with Bethenny Frankel - the women on the cover of Forbes freaking Magazine.

(The SIMPLE card I made 5 minutes prior to making the trek up to meet Bethenny)

And that my friends is a true story. In the end it was totally worth it. I was able to hang out with a friend I don't get to see often, I have an autographed bottle of skinnygirl Sangria and probably took one of the most horrendous pictures of my life with Bethenny Frankel. Awesome.

Note to self: 

Introducing yourself to THE skinnygirl as 86 Big Mama was most likely not in your best interest. 

Cliché Per Se :: Part 1 of 2

As I was scrolling through my news feed on ol' FB this morning I came across a post by Bethenny on her skinnygirl daily page. Part of it read "To reduce stress in your life, surround yourself w/ people who don't judge or criticize you." The cliché "that's easier said than done" came tumbling into my head at  massive speeds. I think to some extent we all judge and criticize; every single one of us do. Even those who say they don't...do; which makes them a liar too. A triple threat per se and not the good kind. I'll be the first one to admit that I judge and criticize all the time. I am much harder on myself than the average Joe but nonetheless I judge and criticize other people - most likely on a daily basis. I'm taking steps to change that; for instance instead of saying it out loud I keep it to myself - most of the time. I can't help it, it just happens! Seriously though, I am working on this diligently as its just one of those ugly character traits that is unnecessary.

If I see a lady who's skinny and looks somewhat decent...well she must be a stay-at-home mom who's husband makes all the money and she does nothing but workout and take care of the kids - judgement. 

If I see a couple out to dinner and they aren't talking to one another they must be so miserable and just doing something to get out of the house to distract how miserable they actually are - judgement. 

If I stumble across a person who can barely fit in a booth at Chili's and they are chowing down on an Old Timer with cheese I ask myself do they really need that - criticizing. 

When I weighed 115 lbs and became pregnant I promised myself I would never be one of those women who blamed the excess weight after the baby was born on simply having a baby. I would workout twice a day if I had to...I wouldn't be one of those women.

In the words of Chris Brown "look at me now"...although I'm not getting paper I'm just getting fatter. Blah! Going through the Big D has taught me more than I could have ever imagined it would. Most of all it's taught me to be less judgmental and critical of others; working on the self-judgement and self-criticism portion of that program - baby steps people. 

The skinny lady who looked somewhat decent - that was me and no I wasn't a stay-at-home mom. I was a stay-at-home wreck going through a divorce who could barely get out of bed and survived on bottles of wine and smokes for a good 3 months. Let's be real - 6 months, ugh ok maybe 12. "Anyone can be skinny when they're a f'ng train wreck" kindly said by my dear friend Abby.

The couple out to dinner not talking because they are miserable DING DING DING, nailed that one on the head. I truly turned going out to eat into some grand occasion/marital therapy session because I felt like if we were out in public with the gen pop then we had to be o.k. See we're just like everybody else...at least that's what I told myself for several years.

The fat lady who can barely fit into a booth while scarfing down a cheeseburger...well that's not me yet but I've waited on that person many times back in the day when I was a food server. The saddest part, it didn't matter who the particular person was, they were always alone. I consider myself a creative person and God please don't let me create what I fear. 

Note to self: 

Don't judge a book by it's cover. Also, I'll even go as far as to say try not to cast judgement on a person until you've walked a day in their shoes. I can assure you all those who judged and criticized me during the most difficult time of my life sure as shit wouldn't have wanted to borrow ANY of my shoes much less walk in them; even the few good pair I own.

86 Big Attitude

Hi everyone! 86 Big Mama has been on a big fat break. For real. I have been such a sour puss lately and I CANNOT shake it. I didn't want to turn this little blog of mine into an avenue for me to complain because in all reality I have nothing to complain about. I felt myself heading that way so I had to bring things to an abrupt stop and re-evaluate; especially after the lecture I received from the bf. It went a little something like this "I support you 100% with this whole 86 Big Mama thing however this self-deprecating attitude of yours and the constant poor self-image you have has got to come to a stop - immediately. I know you think you're just being funny but...". At which point I turned to him, put my hand out to shake his and said "Hi, my name is Rikki, I'm not sure we've met'.

Trust and believe this isn't an attitude that evolved over night - this reverse Shallow Hal image I have of myself. I mean, I'm intelligent enough to know that I'm not ginormous but when I look in the mirror I see Shamu's stunt man. So let's see...I have a refrigerator stocked full of healthy foods, all my skinnygirl daily products, a dvd collection of The Wave (had it over a year; still in original packaging), just received The Tracy Anderson Method, a membership at 2 gyms (need to cancel one but don't even want to deal with telling them why) and a stash of diet pills that make me anxious but 100% not hungry. 

In the meantime I've been making it out in public with this little number. Totally love it and do not spend anytime obsessing about my gut hanging out.

35 dolla's made me holla. Get it here.

Note to self: Refer to paragraph 2 of this post and get some help. STAT.

Age "ain't" nothing but a number...

Same thing goes for weight right? WRONG! After an intense session of begging & promising I wouldn't get upset much to his dismay the bf disclosed how much he "thought" I weighed this weekend and well...he nailed it. First, he's a jerk. Second, I'm totally kidding - he's far from it. Third, I think he learned his lesson never to fall for that trick again. It is hard though...if I ate like him I'd be 500 lbs in no time. I like to post the food I order vs. what he orders just because...it truly is unbelievable to me.

Truthfully I didn't want to disclose my weight because he reads this blog. Let's be real, it's hard enough to disclose your weight to anyone much less your bf that weighs less than you. I decided though if I'm going to commit myself not only to this blog but more importantly to truly 86'ing Big Mama from my life then I need to just come clean with it, accept it and make smarter choices to change it. So here goes...just for fun I decided to add some significant & insignificant #'s that sum up my life as well. 

{Remember...I thought I was going out...luckily I had some shorts readily available. } 

See more pics from the weekend here.

Weight in numbers:

167: What I weighed last Monday. (I'm a linebacker)

163: What I weight this Monday. (I'm currently a safety)

130:  Goal weight.

115: What I weighed when I got pregnant with my 1st born.

60:   How much I gained with my first born.

85:   How many times I think about my weight a day.

Life in numbers:

3:   Number of kids I have.

11: Years I was married.

1:   Total Rolo McFlurries purchased in last 24 hours. (It was a snack size and I only ate 1/2; it counts)

6:   People in my life that I trust with everything.
5:   Total Rolo Mc Flurries I really wanted.

Age in numbers:

35.5:  Current age.

22:     Age I act sometimes.

48:     Age I feel.

23:     Age I got married & had first born.

Weekend Scorecard:
Ate and drank too much on Friday for bf's birthday. Had intentions to continue the party Saturday however how quickly I forget I can't roll like I used to. Went to bed early and got up to go kayaking on Lynx Lake Sunday morning.

Continuing on the Skinnygirl Daily program & managed to remember to take my vitamins 4 out of 7 days. This is a HUGE improvement for Big Mama.

Follow me on twitter for daily postings.

K through 6th

Yesterday was a big one. My youngest graduated kindergarten and my oldest is moving onto 7th grade. I did get a little choked up in the kindergarten program when they announced the kids as the "Class of 2023". My heart sank but not too far as the contraption I was wearing under my sundress was about to bust. Smooth nothing...all it truly did was accentuate my lady lumps. The "X-factor" (a.k.a. the ex-husband) was right...I do look 5 months pregnant. That in and of itself was something that was stressing me out in addition to my babies growing up at the speed of light; seeing him. I believe the last time I saw the "X-factor" in person I received a text about 10 minutes later saying I had a fat ass again and I'm not fooling anyone - he knew I was pregnant. Um, negative ghost rider. Not pregnant just fat. Stop yourself though before you get too carried away feeling sorry for this telephonic abuse towards me ;) I believe my response to him went something along the lines of "At least I can lose weight, you will always have a little pin head"...yeah, something along those lines. Perhaps I'm sharing the PG version. There's a reason we went through the Big D folks.

At any rate, I'd be lying if I said I didn't stress out about the few extra pounds I'm lugging around giving him grounds for more firing power. I shifted and fidgeted during the program to try not to look "frumpy" or with f'ing child. Ironically I could give a rats about what the "X-factor" thinks about me or my weight I just didn't want to be put in the position to HAVE to go to battle. Does that make sense? Like (yes "Like" for real)...don't make me be a bitch dude. Seriously. Yesterday was a big enough day and I did NOT want to put on the boxing gloves. Sitting back and being the better person will not happen though wherein this subject matter is concerned. So-I waited. I waited for "the" text. I mentally prepped my rebuttals; (PS, I came up with some really good below the belt jabs) however "the" text never came so I'll be saving those for the next match ;) It actually ended up being a really nice day...aw, look at us - we might be growing up, at least yesterday we had our grown up pants on. Also my daughter who usually asks me "Are you going like that?" told me I looked pretty.  Mom 1, Big Mama 0.

Note to self:

Do away with the "suck it all in" contraptions...unless of course it starts to look like two pigs wrestling under a blanket. (What movie?)

Yesterday's Fix: 

Took my Skinnygirl Daily and ate only vegetables with a little fruit. I HAD to make myself go to bed because I was about to tear through some kid snacks something serious oh around midnight.   

Exercise:

Yeah, that didn't happen. I looked at the class schedule...